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I Lost My Mojo in a Pitcher of Margaritas | Hardin Acupuncture

I Lost My Mojo in a Pitcher of Margaritas

Rumi poem

Remember when I said I was going to be doing my best impression of a tulip bulb over the break?  Hibernating, resting, building up energy for the new year?  Welllll, I also had lovely, amazing friends visit, finished my Christmas shopping, cleaned the heck out of my apartment, and had all of the following things on my to-do list:

  • January’s newsletter written and ready to go.
  • A new blog post for today, all about what I wanted to see 10 years from now in healthcare.  I wanted to get other bloggers on board, tweet about it (#2023), write a speech about it for toastmasters, have it tattooed on my arm. 
  • Drafts written for blog posts with an A-Z theme.  A is for acupuncture, B is for ba gua, C is for cupping, etc.  I’ll write every week!  I can totally do it!  
  • 12 month marketing plan mapped out.
  • Guest post on meditation I’d been asked to write for a colleague’s blog.
  • Write out a birthday blessing for everyone who celebrated my birthday with me.
  • Reach out to an impossible number of people about an impossible number of projects.
  • Tie up all the loose ends in my life.
  • Be perfect.

And instead, I got drunk at my birthday party and was hungover for 2 days, during which I did nothing productive.  

I needed a mindful pause.  I pushed myself to the limit and got a tequila-induced pause instead (vicious headache no extra charge!) This was the second time I’d been hungover in about 7 years, and I can tell you, I hadn’t missed it.

I feared that if I stopped pushing everything would fall apart.

So, I ignored the fact that I was tired.  That this past year has been a huge shift for me.  That I’ve taken more risks, gotten more done, and helped more people than ever before.  That taking a break might be a good thing.

Now, on this second day of 2013, I’m much more hydrated.  I’m well-rested.  My head’s out of the gray cloud it’s been in.

I don’t have a perfectly polished New Year’s plan to tell you about.  Or a huge project.  I don’t have my meals planned for the next 3 months.

Things are percolating.

I was still just as happy as a kid on Christmas morning to be back in the treatment room this morning.  I’m still wholly passionate about being an acupuncturist.  And I have big ideas for the year, but I’m also being gentle with myself.

There’s a place for pushing past limits.  We are all capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for.

But there’s also a place for pause and reflection.

And for acknowledging that we’re not perfect.

Instead we usually respond in one of two ways when we make a supposed mistake.  First, by “getting back on track” immediately, usually with an ultimatum. “I’ll never drink ever again!”  

Maybe for you it’s sugar, and you feel like you overindulged over the break.  “I’m never going to eat sugar ever!”  OK, if you know you feel better not eating sugar, then go ahead and make a plan.  Give it up completely for a week, a month.  Do a cleanse.

But it doesn’t have to be harsh.  What can you add in to make life sweeter?

Sometimes we actually need to design healthy ways to get “off-track” rather than just immediately restarting our engines.

The second way we often respond to our perceived mistakes is to collapse into them.  “I‘ve never done anything right.  I always screw up.  I ruin everything.”

We can’t see anything good.

We play one wrong note and we want to smash the piano. 

To avoid this pitfall, I took some time to acknowledge all the things I did accomplish last year:

  • Moved from Maryland, where I’d lived all my life, to Pittsburgh and started my acupuncture practice over again.
  • Learned how to use twitter.  (6 tweets in 2011, 550 in 2012 – and some of them were even insightful and/or funny!)
  • Wrote 35 blog posts, all of which I’m proud of.
  • Went to over 12 networking events and had fun at all of them, even though at heart I’m an introverted person.
  • Joined Toastmasters and gave two well-received speeches.
  • Meditated 12 hours in one day (and many many more hours throughout the year).
  • Started a 2-year mentorship with acupuncturist Lonny Jarrett in Massachusetts.
  • Had a fun (albeit drunken) time with friends at my first birthday in Pittsburgh!
  • Helped over 50 patients heal and learn to live and love their lives in new ways.

Life goes up and down.  We will make mistakes.  We will fail.  Be willing to see it all with open eyes. 

Even when we feel disillusioned or lost (or hungover), things are growing within us.  I found a jar with an old paperwhite bulb shoved in my closet.  It was looking pretty awful, like nothing but dead, scraggly stalks.  But when I cleared them away, I noticed tiny little green shoots pushing through the soil.

Life is tenacious.

And moments when we slip off our game are part of life too.  Make space around them, write them into the script.

Have a strong anchor to come back to (and a designated driver).

It’s 2013! 

I’m back at work.  Learning.  Doing my best.  And thinking about ways to be in service to and delighted by life in this new year.  This is mos def not a caravan of despair.

*Update* – Life is amazing.  I decided to compost my #2023 idea and just saw on twitter that Yinzpiration is asking about what we’ll be up to #10yearsfromnow.  I hope you’ll participate!  I’d love to see what you have to say.


(Image source: Soulful Road. Much gratitude to Kim)


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Hardin Acupuncture
1804 Chislett St
Pittsburgh, PA 15206
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Phone: 412.927.4768